12-27
by hey0llie
Summary: When Vash is diagnosed with an illness that ultimately takes his life, Roderich is left to live with a gaping hole in his heart and an emptiness in his arms. Though it may be melancholy, somehow, some way, will they reunite once more?


Vash Zwingli had been in and out of the hospital for a while now. He would get remarkably better, and then so shockingly worse. His husband, Roderich Edelstein, had been with him through it all. From the diagnosis, to now. The doctors couldn't do much, given how rare Vash's case was, so all that could be done was to send him home on hospice. There was simply no cure, and no other options were left.

"Please, there's got to be something you can do to save him! Are you seriously just going to let him die?!"

"Mr. Edelstein, there's nothing more we can do. I'm sorry."

As Vash heard them discuss what was to be done, he couldn't help but feel at fault. They were talking about him out there, about what was to be done with him when all of this was over.

_Over. _

He hated the sound of the word.

When Roderich and the doctor had finished their _discussion, _in the absence of a better word, they left the building and headed for home.

"Roderich, I'm sorry."

As the words escaped Vash's mouth, Roderich's eyes went wide.

"…What do you mean?"

"I'm only stressing you out, and I feel so…"

"Vash, no. You didn't ask for this situation. No one would." He paused, gingerly taking Vash's hand in his own and placing a gentle kiss on each knuckle. "We'll get through this, darling. And I'll be by your side the entire way."

After they arrived at their home, they decided it would be best to study the hospice guide. Roderich assured the other that they didn't have to do it right now, but Vash was insistent. Even if his face was paler than a sheet, he insisted.

He was forced to come to terms with the fact that his life would shortly come to an end.

His ailment was consuming him from the inside out and upon further inspection—

He would be completely devoured within the span of three years.

.:::.

As time went on, it became harder for Vash to move, let alone walk. Roderich had to move him around in a wheelchair if they were to go anywhere requiring a moderate distance on foot. For the most part, though, he could walk around the house when he needed to, but would ultimately stay in bed throughout the day. Still, he'd made it clear that he wanted to spend what little time he had not just staying alive, but making what little time he had truly worthwhile. He and Roderich still had tea in the mornings and read together in the evenings. Roderich still played Vash's favorite songs for him on the piano. They made the most of what they could. They would sit in the swing under the gazebo and admire the array of flowers in the garden and just rest together in blissful, _scorning— _

Silence.

For who knows? It could all be over so painfully soon.

It was now a December of years passed, and it had been almost three years, specifically, since the doctors sent him home. They had planned for Vash to live through the new year, but, sadly—

Fate just doesn't work that way.

Vash felt fatigued more often than not, and he was asleep very often. His illness was eating away his energy, and the rest of him along with it. Right before he fell asleep though, he would call Roderich to him and made sure to tell him that he loved him, just in case his time was...

Cut short.

Just in case.

Roderich would lie with him, holding Vash's hand with both of his own, cherishing every moment that they had together. Sometimes, he would just hold the other, peacefully engulfed in slumber, in his arms, pulling him close while he wept.

He mourned a man still breathing.

When Vash awoke, he was always greeted by a warm smile. A smile that masked exhaustion, sadness, uncertainty, fear, but still genuinely projected relief and a warm glow.

And it—

And _he _had always been enough.

When he woke, Roderich would help him up and the two of them would walk into their living room, sat on the couch beside each other and talk. They would talk of their past, talk of their future, and talk of everything in between.

Most times, that included topics neither of them enjoyed bringing up.

"Hey, Roderich," Vash started, piquing the other man's attention. As Roderich looked up at Vash, his heartbeat had jumped onto a full-speed locomotive when he saw tears streaming down the other's face.

"Vash, what…" His voice trailed off as it was snatched away by a part of him that was scared of whatever answer he might get.

"Roderich, will you-" He stopped, nearly choking on the lump in his throat. "Are you going to forget me?"

Roderich's heart nearly stopped at the prose.

"Vash, how…?" Roderich began to cry as well, slowly at first, until slowly turned into a stream of tears with no sign of stopping.

"I'm sorry, I didn't- I didn't mean to make you cry, I just-"

"No, Vash, I won't forget you," He answered through sobs. "I couldn't. I wouldn't know how."

They now both had streams of tears running down their cheeks, Roderich gently rubbing Vash's thumb with his own as they held each other's hand, their fingers intertwined.

"I can't just forget all this time we've spent together. How am I supposed to forget the day you moved in or the night you proposed? Or our Wedding Day?" Roderich paused, as the two exchanged a look at each other's rings. "I won't forget the happiest days of my life. I won't forget you."

The two now sat in each other's arms, their tears soaking their faces. Vash's face was buried in the other's chest as the other gently ran his fingers through his golden hair.

"This isn't fair, Roderich! This isn't fair, it's not, it's not…!" He wailed, his voice muffled by the other's sweater he grasped at desperately. He sounded like a kid. He sounded childish and frustrated, but that was the last thing on either of their minds. Now more than ever, there were more important things to think about.

"I know, darling," He paused, trying to compose himself as much as possible at that moment.

After a long, deafening silence, Vash's voice was heard. It was faint, almost inaudible, but he spoke nonetheless.

"What about Lilli?"

Roderich hadn't thought of what would happen with the Swiss' sister, or anyone other than the two of them for that matter.

"I-" He stopped, searching his mind for an answer to his question, but to no avail. "I don't know."

"Promise me something, Roderich."

"Anything, love."

"Promise me you'll take care of her."

And with those words, Roderich's heart sank, shattering as is fell.

"Promise me, Roderich!"

"...Vash, I-"

"Promise me! Please," He stopped briefly, trying to compose himself through his outpour of tears. "I can't just leave her alone. I don't want to, but it doesn't exactly look like I have many choices now." The words poured like lava from his lips, scorching both him and Roderich with every syllable.

Roderich pulled him closer, if that were possible, seeing how close they were already, and rubbed gentle circles on his lover's back, trying to soothe him as much as he could.

"I promise."

As he spoke, he inwardly cursed the world for doing this to his beloved. Vash absolutely did _not _deserve this painful, melancholy, heart-wrenching outcome.

As Vash sat, sobbing into his palms, Roderich could feel his heart being wrung beneath his ribs. Seeing him in so much pain was agonizing, and it felt worse when he knew there was nothing to be done to stop the quickly worsening ailment. Roderich pulled the blanket from the side of the couch they sat at and draped it over Vash's shoulders, placing a kiss on his forehead. And as he did so, a realization set in: he wouldn't be able to do this much longer.


End file.
